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How to be the person who doesn’t give a f**k…

WARNING: this article contains much gratuitous use of profanity. Read on at your own peril.

 

 

 

 

Over the last two weeks (must be that time of the year, when people are setting out resolutions, contemplating their lives, reconsidering their friendships, relationships, everything-ships…ah, the Ox-Goat clash), I received separately from two sources, articles relating to becoming the person who “doesn’t give a f**k” (polite term “NotSorry” per this Guardian article or described as ‘zero f**ks to give” in this Mark Manson article “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck”).

Naturally, these prompted the inevitable BaZiQueen introspection: how can one be a person who has “zero f**ks to give” or more politely, a NotSorry Method person? What kind of people are able to effectively practice this? And what stars would one need to recruit if one wished to become the Master of Zero F**ks?

From this point, asterisks will be removed. Those of you who find profanity deeply disturbing, please…stop reading now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Certain types of Stars pre-dispose someone to not giving a fuck, but in different ways. In order to understand which are these stars, first we must know: what exactly is the attitude that is embodied in not giving a fuck? Or conversely, what exactly the attitude embodied in giving a fuck?

Indifference can be the basis for not giving a fuck. Essentially, this is the ‘I don’t care’ version of not giving a fuck. Not giving a fuck because you’re just too damn lazy to well, give a fuck.

Vintage Indirect Resource…

This is Indirect Resource. If it protrudes to the surface, then the not giving a fuck is obvious. If it is hidden, they may present the image of giving a fuck (depends on the stars) but actually don’t. (very dangerous!). Direct Resource can also present as not giving a fuck but this tends to be a benign version – meaning such a person would apologise profusely for not giving a fuck, or give an excuse or cover up their not giving a fuck somehow. Indirect Resource on the other hand, well, they don’t give a fuck that you know they don’t give a fuck, you know?

Frustration can be the source of not giving a fuck. In this case, the person who has given many fucks in the past (not literally), throws their hands up, and says, ‘do whatever the fuck you like, I don’t give a fuck any more’.

This kind of evolution into not giving a fuck (versus, innate inability to give a fuck, ala Indirect Resource) is typical of the Hurting Officer. Hurting Officers can be very vested, and equally completely uninvested. If they are not convinced of the validity of what they are doing (and usually, the intelligence or purpose or logical objective), if required, they will do it. But they will…tada – not give a fuck.

This is how the Hurting Officer eventually gets to not give a fuck…

The difference between indifference and frustration is simple: one never gave a fuck in the first place…the other finally decides after much effort not to give a fuck.

Arrogant people can also be the epitome of don’t give a fuck. These people don’t give a fuck because basically, whatever is requesting their attention is fundamentally beneath them.  They don’t give a fuck because well…it’s irrelevant. (if you are reading the Guardian article, this falls under the category of ‘dickheads’)

Best version of 7 Killings ‘not giving a fuck’ I could find.

This of course, is vintage 7 Killings, with the most interesting converse: whilst they don’t give a fuck, you must give as many fucks as you have, and more. Borrow fucks if you must. Because as far as 7 killings goes, they don’t have to give a fuck but EVERYONE ELSE BETTER.

Calculative people usually do not give a fuck. However, this form of not giving a fuck is much closer to the Not Sorry Method described in the Guardian article and the referenced book. Such people observe a situation, determine the value of giving a fuck vs the value of not giving a fuck (usually in terms of time or money cost or lost opportunity), and then appropriately give or not give a fuck. Not giving a fuck in this case is not representative of a preference, liking or disliking. It is merely a value issue. Such individuals do not give a fuck because they understand time is limited. And prefer to spend their timing doing things that matter. Direct Wealth people are perhaps the best representation of ‘Not Sorry’ types (a slightly less obnoxious version of don’t give a fuck).

Vintage Direct Wealth thinking…

Sometimes, people don’t give a fuck because well, they are not living on the same planet anyway. These are the Eating God types, who live in their own world. However, typically they are not accused of not giving a fuck. This is because they invariably tend to be somewhat eccentric and odd and so therefore, their version of not giving a fuck is actually interpreted as forgetfulness. A benign don’t give a fuck I suppose. Almost a forgivable not giving a fuck. However, as Eating Gods can also be ridiculously calculative about petty things and scheming so they wouldn’t think twice about pretending forgetfulness when it’s actually indifference.

Meaning, I really didn’t give a fuck, but if you think I was just forgetful, well, that’s fucking fine.

Eating God version..

Sidetone: if you are a Xin Metal Day Master, then the evolution of not giving a fuck can be quite interesting. For Xin Metals, Ren and Gui are the Output Stars, and these two stars are interchangeable because of the ability of Water to alter its form. Meaning, Ren is Gui, Gui is Ren. Which means the Xin Metal person’s Hurting Officer starts out not giving a fuck because they are frustrated, but eventually may end up not giving a fuck because they are completely indifferent ala Eating God. This can seem very horrible to people who work with a Xin Metal because the initial period of giving a fuck is very enthusiastic (as the way the Hurting Officer operates) and then the decline into not giving a fuck just gets worse and worse.

Somewhere in between it all is the Rob Wealth Star. Now the thing about the Rob Wealth Star is that it is driven by approval. Rob Wealth Star types want to be liked. And so wanting to be liked using means having to give a fuck (cause really, don’t we all not like that person who doesn’t give a fuck?). The problem is, Rob Wealth types give a fuck but then cannot deliver on their fucks given. This is on some levels maybe worse than not giving a fuck at all I suppose – at least there you know where you stand. The ‘fake’ give a fuck but actually doesn’t give a fuck because gave too many fucks and can’t fulfil on those obligations, is something to look out for because the last thing anyone needs in this world, is faux give a fuck.

Ultimately, in the don’t give a fuck stakes, its probably in my mind, a toss up between the Indirect Resource and the Friend Star. After all, in order to not give a fuck, you have to be really self-driven. The Friend Star is the epitome of self-drivenness. Friend Star don’t give a fuck is quite close to the Not Sorry method described in The Guardian article, but is not the same as the Direct Wealth don’t give a fuck. The Direct Wealth don’t give a fuck is totally value driven – its usually about time or money or task value (is doing this going to make a difference towards reducing the number of things I have to do). The Friend Star don’t give a fuck is personal value driven. So the pub quiz example in the Guardian article, is a good illustration of the Friend Star version of not giving a fuck.

 

Of course, some stars naturally predispose a person to giving a fuck more than they predispose a person to not giving a fuck. Typically, overly responsible personalities have the greatest amount of difficulty not giving  fuck. So people with strong Direct Officer and strong Direct Wealth for example, are most likely to give a fuck and thus, would benefit from learning a little how to not give a fuck. And in the genius way in which BaZi works, if you have too much DO and DW, the DM is over controlled and needs Resource…hence, for weak DMs, not giving a fuck, might actually be a good thing!