One of the first challenges any BaZi consultant, especially those new to the game, faces, is the demand for Enablement.
Enablement is a very interesting concept. On one level, Enablement has a positive connotation, denoting giving a person or situation the tools, resources and information required to achieve a particular goal. Yet, whenever we talk about ‘Enablers or ‘Enabling”, it tends to have the negative psychological connotation of being a person who facilitates negative or destructive behaviour. (see the contrasting explanations on Wiki for ‘Enablement‘ vs ‘Enabling’).
Personally, as a consultant, I have never seen myself as a + Enabler. First because I suppose I have always viewed the term in a negative light and secondly because it strikes me as the height of conceit – I don’t believe that one person can enable other people. I believe that only a person can enable themselves. I suppose I have seen far too many cases of people who despite having been given the ammunition of information from their BaZi charts, continue to plough through life making the same stupid mistakes. As such, it is a bit of a falsehood to assume that just because THEY KNOW, they CAN DO. An amazing number of people who KNOW do not DO. As the old saying goes, the drunk in the gutter, stays in the gutter for a very good reason.
So let’s talk about -Enablement.
As a BaZi consultant, it is extremely easy to lapse into -Enablement – clients whine, clients complain, clients give you the sad look and the sob story – the first instinct of any Consultant is to be sympathetic or at the very least, understanding. Unfortunately, there is a very thin line between Understanding and Enablement. I certainly can think of a number of occasions where I have been sorely tempted to slap someone across the face because they’re making the stupid mistake of stepping into the trap of their BaZi. But in the name of being Understanding, we instead resort to nodding patiently and trying to nudge them across the line towards a smart decision rather than a patently self-destructive one.
At some point however, as a Consultant, it becomes necessary to stop being supportive and actually be a real bitch because what the person needs, is a strong dose of reality. And because support only actually results in Enablement and Emboldening of the person to continue to do stupid things. Of course, sometimes clients need a bitchslap (or at least, some kind of put down or a frank word) because they like to play coy – despite having been given advice to do one thing, they keep on seeking vindication and sanction to do something else that they have been told NOT to do. This is stubbornness of the destructive kind again and if allowed to persist, results in the following outcome: they screw up their lives, and come running back demanding to know WHY this has happened to them. Life of course in such instances is surely horribly unfair?
Unscientifically, strong Day Masters and Yang Day Masters generally need the bitchslap approach because invariably, these types of Day Masters need the Control that comes from the 7 Killings/Direct Officer Star. Where this is coupled with Strong Resource (especially Indirect Resource) or strong Rob Wealth, there is an extra need to be very firm and uncompromising. However, with such clients, it is also important to be prepared to brandish the ‘I Told You So’ card unabashedly. Yes, it’s quite nasty to do so but some clients need to see the bottom of the proverbial abyss before they ever realise the futility and nonsense of their own silly actions.
if they are lucky, they will then be able to crawl out from the abyss and as the old saying goes, since it didn’t kill them, it makes them stronger.
Unfortunately, very few people have charts that enable them to have that kind of amazing comeback. The AVERAGE PERSON has a lower tolerance for the great dips and swings in fortune than people with exceptional charts. And in any case, the people with exceptional charts very rarely commit acts of total and utter unvarnished stupidity – most of the time, their abyss staring moments tend to be the product of genius gone wrong or overplaying their hand rather than purely pushing their luck. (what is the difference? The difference is that in one instance the person makes an educated, calculated bet, premised on a strong sense of self belief that goes wrong – in the other instance, the person merely flings mud against the wall HOPING that it will all work out and never really knowing what happened when it doesn’t)
And as is the case often, they will have exceptional people around them to rescue them from any possible acts of unvarnished stupidity they may commit. The average person has less of a safety net and so has less ability to handle acts of gross idiocy.
This is the reason why consultants must stop at the line of Enablement and indeed, avoid Enablement at all costs. If the client’s chart runs any risk of severe morale and emotional backlash (or in many instances of stupid money decisions, financial RUIN) as a result of a failure or a gross misjudgment or a pipe dream overstretch, it is IMPERATIVE that the consultant run the risk of losing the client by refusing to show Understanding than proceed along the slippery slope of Enablement and then have to pick up the pieces.
What is the most powerful weapon in the Consultant’s arsenal when it comes to preventing -Enablement? It is the Power of the word ‘NO’ and the willingness to DESTROY UNREALISTIC HOPE. It is the willingness to stop answering questions from clients who really just must learn to stop listening to the Message from the Dark Side. It is the capacity to piss off a client because that is what they need to hear – the unvarnished frank and straight up truth. The consultant must be fearless in their advice, and willing to risk the loss of business in the name of saving the client from themselves.
So do consultants ever have the opportunity to achieve + Enablement? Once in a BLUE BLUE MOON, a rare case emerges where one of your guinea pigs, actually emerges from trial by fire successfully. They take the advice, they make the changes, and most importantly, THEY TRY. These are the rewarding cases, the clients that make you proud and who go on to actually make great progress on their own, without the consultants help, just by making those requisite changes and resisting the trap of their BaZi. Such cases are incredibly rare, and almost always, the credit goes to the client (although a word of advice: it is invariably a money-losing proposition most of the time as well since the amount of effort expended to achieve this level of success usually demands an exceptionally high level of nagging and endless bashing by the consultant, till the clients GETS IT).
The success stories are the ones that make up for all the failures (the ones that just…didn’t fix their lives) but they are few and far in between. Most cases fall into the category of needing less + Enablement and just a hell of a lot more Bitchslapping. And even then.
So what is the moral of the story for the client or the people who go and see BaZi consultants? Well, be a little suspicious when the answers to all your questions are coming back in the positive. Be a little more willing to take harsh advice because it might be what you need (especially if you are a strong Day Master). Finally, ask yourself if what you are looking for is +Enablement or -Enabling.Read More