One of the single biggest reason why clients are dissatisfied with a BaZi consultation is that the consultant did not give them any answers. A close second is the view that the consultation did not yield the answers they wanted. (Disclosure: this is my decidedly unscientific and un-empirically supported conclusion).

But here is the thing: the consultant cannot answer a question which has no defined objective. And the consultant cannot give you an answer, if you don’t actually have an idea of what the parameters of the answer should be. And frankly, there are some questions which a BaZi consultant isn’t here to answer. We can at best provide you with some insight into the possibilities, but we cannot give you an ANSWER since an answer, by necessity, implies a measure of finality to it.

So in this post, I want to address the issue of asking questions in a BaZi consult because by asking the RIGHT QUESTIONS, you will get the most out of your consultation. By contrast, asking the WRONG QUESTIONS will just lead to a waste of time, since the Consultant is now forced to go round the merry-go-round with you, the client, in order to actually ascertain your question, before finally being able to give you an answer, if at all.

Avoid asking open-ended questions.

Examples: “What should I do with my life”, “What is the meaning of my life” or any form of variation on “Why am I here on this planet?”.

These are open-ended questions without defined answer parameters.  And somehow everyone expects a magical answer from the BaZi consultant. I mean seriously, if I said – your purpose in life is to be a dustman – would anyone actually be in turn SATISFIED with that answer (even if it was the truth?).

The fact is that we cannot tell you what you should do with your life or what is your purpose. Sure, there are some broad parameters (Geng’s should do action-orientated work, Dings should seek opportunities to evangelise and inspire, Jias should support and persevere) but none of them answers the question of PURPOSE or OBJECTIVE.

So you might ask – what the F*** am I seeing the consultant for then?

So here’s what the consultant CAN do. They can tell you what is the best option amongst a list of YOUR OPTIONS based on your chart. If you can’t decide between option a, b or c, then we can help you. We might even be able to throw in an option d or e, but first, you need to come to us with SOMETHING.

It’s like that joke about the man who prays to God to help him strike the lottery. After a few weeks of this, a voice booms from the Heavens:

“Son, please at least BUY A TICKET”.

Too many clients approach a consultant with the notion that we have all the answers. We don’t. Clients have to do some thinking of their own, and a measure of soul-searching as well. They have to come to consultations prepared, with an idea of the options they want to consider and are prepared to consider. Then, we can talk. But coming to a consultant with an open-ended question is just plain a waste of everyone’s time and for me as a consultant, reflects ultimately a LACK OF COMMITMENT to actually making any use of the consultation. You can almost tell a repeat/trouble/hassle client a mile away – they are the ones who come to the table with NO QUESTIONS (they expect you to magically rattle away everything to them off the top of your head) or the ones who come with open-ended/vague/general questions because they are either too lazy to prepare themselves for the consultation or frankly, just disconnected from their objectives. They hope for a magic bullet answer from the consultant and when they don’t get one, they whine.

And then guess what? They are there the next year, with the same questions, asking for “guidance” over and over again.  So please, DO NOT ASK OPEN ENDED QUESTIONS. Remember, we the consultant can only offer ‘direction’ if you know where you WANT TO GO. If you don’t know where you want to go, then we can only offer advice on where you should not go or what you should not do.

Mind you, there is room for an open-ended question in BaZi, but as a secondary question to a more specific primary question. For example, let’s say a person asks about their working relationship with their superior. The consultant then provides an answer, based on the chart, that the working relationship is challenging for reasons x, y and z, in a given year. If the client were then to ask: “Well what should I do?” – such is an open-ended question within a specific answer parameter. The client is open to suggestions on how to deal with a specific problem, namely, their difficult relationship with their superior.

Avoid asking unanswerable questions

These are typically questions that are premised on a set of events that have yet to happen or very very extreme hypothetical situations. For example, a person asks about their marriage  at the age of 50 because at that age, there is a Clash with their Spouse Palace. The person is unmarried.

This is a hypothetical question, based on an event that has yet occurred, and which MAY NOT OCCUR since marriage is hardly a given these days. The consultant cannot possibly answer that question to the person’s satisfaction because the pre-requisite for that problem to occur, does not yet exist.

DON’T ASK SOMETHING THAT DOESN’T MATTER

Sometimes, the client asks something FOR THE HECK OF IT. Because they’ve got an extra 5 minutes. Or because they are frivolous. Rarely because they are genuinely interested or curious. Don’t.

Don’t ask a question about something that you don’t give two hoots about. Don’t throw out hypotheticals for the sake of throwing out a hypothetical. You are not helping yourself, and you are not getting an answer that is going to help you in any way because you aren’t really that interested in the first place.

DO ASK SPECIFIC, FOCUSED QUESTIONS

The more exact the question, the more precise the answer. Here are some examples of specific, focused questions:

• Should I accept an offer to move to a job at Company X? That job involves  [job description].
• Should I look for a new job this year? My goals for moving to a new job are [ie: more money, better hours, new experiences, looking for a change, shifting into a new field]
• I am thinking about going into a new field. My options are [a], [b] and [c] – which is most suited to my chart in terms of skillset?
• I would like to start a business. The businesses I am looking at are [a], [b] and [c] and I am able to do [a] because I am from that industry, [b] because it’s my hobby and I’m very good at it or [c] which I have no expertise in but I am willing to take the risk to get into. Which is most suited to my chart?
• I would like to start a business – should I do so with a partner?
• I would like to go back to school and get an advanced degree. I plan to do so in [x] years time. Is that a good time or should I be doing it sooner/later? What is a good year?

For relationship related questions, the consultant’s biggest headache is dealing with situations where there are no options on the table. The fact is that when it comes to relationships, there are only 2 realistic courses of action: stay or go. As such, it is important to state specifically what you are prepared to do and not prepared to do, before you ask the consultant WHAT SHOULD I DO.