The truth about marriage, 14-12-2010 and 10-10-10

Seriously, this nonsense about not being able to get married in the year of the Tiger is getting to be really absurd.

This is the article from Malaysia’s ‘The Star’ newspaper (famous of course for carrying garbage news but that’s…something else) entitled “Tiger scares couples off marriage“. Some excerpts of relevance:

JOHOR BARU: Unlike previous Valentine’s Days when couples would get themselves hitched in mass weddings, many Chinese are avoiding marriage this coming Year of the Tiger.

Most Chinese couples believe that Valentine’s Day, which coincides with the first day of the lunar new year on Feb 14, will not be a good date for marriage as it represents anger, argument and conflict. Johor Baru Tiong Hua Association manager Eric Ku said it would usually have 30 couples registered to be married in a mass wedding three weeks before Valentine’s Day on other years but time, it only had 12 couples.

Further on in the article:

Ku said most Chinese believed that marrying on Feb 14 this year would doom the union due to the Tiger taking over from the Ox in the zodiac.

“Some also believe that it is not good Feng Shui to be married on that day,” he said, adding that the association would instead organise a mass wedding on Oct 10 this year to take advantage of the auspicious date of 10-10-10.

“According to the lunar calendar, other months besides February are good for marriage.

“We expect at least 50 couples to be involved in the October ceremony,” he said.

Let me first state that it’s appalling how newspapers make it a point to fact check something before they print but this rule goes out the window the minute it comes to metaphysics. It is automatically assumed that because there are no people signing up to get married on that day, it must be

a) automatically a bad day

b) something to do with the year, which is why no one is getting married on that day.

Has it occurred to ANYONE that since this is the first day of Chinese New Year, that most people probably can’t persuade their family members to put off the New Year duties and attend a wedding?

Similarly, given that it is Valentine’s Day, that maybe hundreds of thousands of people who DON’T celebrate Chinese New Year or who don’t know anything about Chinese Astrology, will probably get married on that day? Are their marriages singularly doomed now?

Let’s get with the facts.

The 14th of February 2010 is NOT an unfavourable or bad day. It is not a Superior Day according to the Dong Gong system which means it’s not a GREAT DAY so it’s not a date that I would personally recommend.

But not great does not mean, bad. People need to recognise the difference!

The 14th of February is an Initiate Day, which is regarded as ‘okay’ for marriage. The only people who actually cannot use this day are those born in the year of the Ox, or who have the Ox Earthly Branch in their Spouse Palace.

[Updated/edited] Having a bit of spare time on my hands, I decided to look further into this business of 14-2-10.

February 14 2010 is a Yi Wei 乙 未 Day. In the Dong Gong system, it is an Initiate Day and  is regarded as an acceptable type of day to use for marriage based on the 12 Officers system of Date Selection. Joey Yap’s ‘Dong Gong Date Selection’ book says this about 未 (wei ) days in the month of 寅 (Yin):

The negative Heavenly Thief, Red Phoenix and Grappling Hook stares arrive on this day. The animals or pets in teh household will be adversely affected if any important activity or endeavour is undertaken on this day and human occupants will also be susceptible or prone to ailments. The worse of the Wei 未 Days is the YI Wei Day, when the Sha Qi enters the Central Palace of a home or office. As such, avoid moving house, getting married, or starting a business on these days.

So on paper, Feb 14th is an acceptable and usable day because it is an Initiate Day. However, the Dong Gong system clearly indicates it is an extremely negative day despite being a good 12 Officers Day. The point here however is that it is not a bad day because it is the 1st Day of the Lunar New Year, nor is it a bad day because it ” represents anger, argument and conflict”. It is a bad day because the energies on that day are ill-suited for any important activities.

Now, what about 10-10-10.  Guess what?

IT’S A LOUSY DAY TO GET MARRIED TOO!

10-10-10 is a 癸 巳 (Gui Si) Day.

According to the Dong Gong system, it is a 危 (Danger – Cantonese: Ngai) Day.  Joey Yap’s ‘Dong Gong Date Selection’ book says this about 巳 (si) days in the month of 戌  (Dog):

A Yi Si 乙 巳  Day is particularly ideal to undertake landscaping, construction and renovation works or for marriage, burial, moving house, opening a business or travel. The day’s useful energies augur well for descendant luck, as well as strengthening one’s wealth luck. The Qi on other Si 巳Days are only secondary, at best, although they can still be used for endeavours of a smaller scale. Do not use the remaining Si 巳Days for marriage, moving house, opening a business or travel – the outcomes will be hazardous.

Admittedly, the table below does not identify the Gui Si day as inauspicious, but indicates it is a Fair Day (meaning, not good, but not super-bad either). But, by convention, Initiate, Success and Open Days are the best days to use for marriage. Any other type of day generally would not be considered ideal or suitable.

I don’t care that the Tong Shu says it’s an acceptable day for marriage. It’s a Danger Day in the Dong Gong system and and in my books, why on earth would anyone want to get married on that day? (btw, Danger here doesn’t actually mean it’s Dangerous, it’s simply the way the word is translated. Danger Days are usable but generally at not used for important personal events). As a Date Selection consultant, I simply wouldn’t take the change. Between an Initiate Day and a Danger Day, I would pick the Initiate Day any time (assuming there are no Clashes to the Year Pillar of the two parties).

But the real lesson here is instead of using these wonderfully symbolic but actually rather ineffectual and very very average dates, I would just go with a REAL GOOD DAY.Something that is substantiated by Dong Gong as a Superior Day, with great stars that are supportive of the pursuit of marriage AND most importantly, is good for both parties.

There aren’t many of those in the first quarter of the year, but there are some really good ones in 2010.

If it’s supposed to be a special day, why the hell would anyone want to use a date that everyone else is hankering after?

Finally, will someone please inform these well-intentioned but completely ignorant individuals running these associations that the Ox leaves and the Tiger arrives on February 4th. By February 14th, the Tiger has well and truly arrived by that point – no one is taking over from anyone on that date.

Making up this stuff is one thing, but making it up without any substance? Given that the Tiger and Ox actually are considered a ‘hidden combination’ in the study of BaZi, I’m surprised no one has come up with some great big exaggerated whopper about that.

And for the love of Tigger, there is no ‘Feng Shui’ issue when it comes to marriage. Feng Shui is about where you live, Astrology is what relates to what you do, or don’t do. Get with the program people.